1 Month For Better Or For Worse? (On the bright side, I'm still alive right?)

I MADE IT! Are you proud of me? Actually, it's okay, I'm proud of me! Drawing everyday for a whole month was not something I ever imagined/dreamed I could ever do. I'm just a slow artist... Okay, fine. I was just a perfectionist way too often. I am very fuzzy when it comes to the small details and my biggest problem was wanting to get everything perfect. I get stuck on one spot and literally get sucked into it so bad, I sometimes look up to find hours have passed but this, beautiful, almost perfect corner is out of proportion. The pain I tell you. In the past year, I have actually gotten better with imperfections by doing big swathes of colour, dealing with big vague shapes and working down to the tiny details layer by layer, which solves the problem a little, but still, sometimes, I take years between layers (okay that's an exaggeration, maybe weeks, but to be fair, I work on and off for manyyyyy sittings). What sucked about such working habits was that usually, by the time I'm actually done with the sketch and base layer, I'm all out of juice and sick of the painting/drawing already. I never actually create anything with that original EXCITEMENT! you know? It's technically game over by the time I'm even half way through. I honestly stepped into this so so overwhelmed by the idea of completing one piece a day, because how??? Also, I'm supposed to go from having one genius idea a month to one a day?! Even my geniusness can't handle that...? Well, I'll admit, I did cheat a little here and there, and occasionally skipped a day (but I make up for it the day after!) or asked * cough begged * people for some inspiration, but hey, I made it baby! WHOO! Now, lemme present you my last 3 works to make 31 days before I continue rambling...

Day 29: I promised me I would paint at least one week's worth of skies and I did! If you counted, this would be the 7th! I did it :') I went from 0 experience of painting skies (or fluffy cloud) to this! Okay, this one isn't that impressive, wait a little more for the bonus. Still, this is not too awful. Even though some people say it looks like an ocean... with sea mist... I mean, I can't blame them, who thought it was a genius idea to make the sky and the sea the same colour anyway. Even the sea foam/mist look like clouds, like, really? Who are you trying to trip up? But minus that, see how floofy these clouds are?! I finally figured out the trick!! It took me like what 6 skies to get it, though I suppose it could be worse... Not too bad for 6 days practice eh? I think, the trick is to do a dark background, blend it real good, and also try to avoid where the cloud shapes would vaguely be, then put in those vague shapes in an almost white colour. The trick is to make it almost white, so youre white will reallyyyy pop later. But before we get to that, we gotta take a dry, slightly fluffy brush and just start softening the edges. How you ask? Well, hold your brush up straight and just poke it. Really. Just poke near the blobs of paint (not too much paint of course, too much paint on your brush would just give you more blobs), get some paint on the very tips of the hairs of the brush, then just go poke the paper at places where the fuzzy cloud edges should be. Voila!! :) Then of course, last step, grab some white and put then at the really light parts of the cloud in your reference. Instant fluffy. Don't I just sound so experienced... XD

Day 30 is basically a bonus sky painting because, well, I split my paper in half and got out my paints already, not gonna let the effort go to waste man. And so, extra sky number 8! Honestly, I quite enjoyed painting this one. Partially because it came out really good, partially because fluffy clouds! (not so scary anymore :) and partially because well, I have a soft spot for the amazing reference I took all on my own! It was entirely by accident actually which made it all the more magical. I was having a miserable time at a party, not feeling well at all, so I decided to take a walk, I looked up and oh mai, the sky was lighting up so beautifully, it's almost like it was just for me. See? Magical. Plus, in my reference, there were those lovely street lamps nearby silhouetted against the sky which made it even better. In fact, I tried to include those, but this thin strip of painting is literally impossible (you know my struggle this past month trying to figure out how to fit an amazing reference into a tiny strip of paper?! Pretty skies tend to be pretty everywhere and it's near impossible to decide how to decide on composition...) Doesn't this one look delightfully majestic? Reminds me a little of Lion King honestly, it's the circle of life~ Anyway, I'm quite happy with how the contrast came out! I never used to be this brave but painting skies taught me one thing. Don't think. Seriously don't. Clouds (or nature in general honestly) makes no sense. At all. See the colour, just put it there, no questions asked. The eyes will do everything later. Just trust the process. Seriously.

WE MADE IT!! * sparkle shower * it's officially Day 31! My commitment amazes even me... Let me tell you, I really went all out for this one, and it was unintentional too. This little guy? Took me almost 4 hours OKAY?! I thought I'd never finish it. I was sooooo not prepared for that amount of commitment when I started. The amount of detail though. I tried really really hard. Really. I went layer by layer and covered every. Single. Spot. On the whole sheet of A4 paper. I did it though! It was fun actually watching everything come alive layer by layer. The black really helped make the shadows pop and the hair actually look flattened. Plus that water and background? Best results of low effort that I actually did XD and the rock. I'm actually surprised with how it turned out and I was the one who did it. Funny huh? It doesn't follow the reference, but I was reaching the end of the third hour and really couldn't handle it anymore so I decided to wing it. Turns out, it actually worked. See? Nature never makes sense, just slap some vague colours on, put in so weird texture, doubt your entire existence, wipe your eyes and dump the drawing for awhile and then suddenly tomorrow it doesn't look all that awful. Sometimes it doesn't work though. But hey, nature has blob fish and dolphins so we don't judge. * shrugs * either way, I'm really happy with how this turned out, though I think I can still work on expressions (it's never intense or emotive enough. Work in progress!!) but overall, I'm happy with it. The colours are good, there's some good contrast and the bird looks absolutely deranged. I love it. Also, Luca was a good movie, I highly recommend it. Thanks Disney animators and artists for creating this lovely reference for me and thanks brother for choosing this challenging one. I had fun wasting away 4 hours of my life next to you!

And believe it or not, that's it. Seems a little anti-climactic when the moment finally comes around... On one hand, I drew every day?! And on the other hand, wait, I only did this many? It doesn't seem like a lot... But one month... But I didn't even fill my sketchbook.. But I drew every day?! So weird. Seriously. I'm glad I dedicated this June holiday break to practicing daily though. (Yes, I know I was supposed to be studying for Mid Year exams, but this was reallyyyy calling my name, sorry, couldn't avoid it!) The first week I had to really make myself sit and commit to it, but after that, it all flowed so fast, I honestly can't keep up with myself. The best part was, I was actually excited and looked forward to the Drawing Of The Day! I would actually have ideas come to me to last me days ahead. It was the most amazing thing I have ever felt. Never in my life have I felt so creative, free and incredible! Except maybe back in my childhood days where I thought painting the same old scene of the crab on a sandy beach over and over and over again was a very productive use of time. Honestly, I am quite reluctant to stop this drawing habit, and also a little scared that this excited rush will all go away once I stop and settle back into school routines. If I could, I would stop everything else and just keep creating and let the ideas keep coming. Before this, I felt a little unmotivated, dry of creative ideas, tired of trying and keeping up with my dreams, but now, I feel like art block isn't even a thing anymore. Just put the pencil to paper and have some good fun! Drawing silly stuff occasionally helps too. I suppose it gets the creative junk out and give me a good laugh so why not right? Perhaps its a thing to say creativity begets creativity, or art begets art, because just sitting myself and starting the ball rolling with a determined shove really does set everything spinning into motion...

I didn't expect anything to come out of this, probably just get some drawing practice, maybe give up somewhere in the middle (actually no, I don't think I ever really considered the idea of giving up, I guess my stubbornness and goal-oriented tunnel vision does have some uses) But wow. I'm really looking back and feeling really really proud of myself. I can actually see my productivity, efficiency (sometimes I feel like these words are the same), confidence and skill improve. Especially since I kept very close records of everything I did. It truly is amazing. (By the way, just a heads up, there are no more pictures coming and I'm just letting myself ramble, beware and take a brain break if you need it for those poor readers of mine heehee you know who you are) Most importantly though, I was happy, I AM happy with what I create and I'm starting to believe in myself and really see all that I'm capable of. Sometimes, I don't quite believe I can be a successful artist or that I even come up with good ideas, I just copy references, and I don't even do it as well as cameras, so what's the point? Actually, I'm still not sure what the point is, but I think, I'm starting to understand that art can be a very magical experience, both for the creator and the audience. Sometimes, I create something I really really like and felt meant a lot, but nobody else seems to get it. Other times, I don't mean anything by what made, but to someone else, it was exactly what they needed at that point in their life, or maybe they just see something special in it. All I know, is that it's strange and funnily quite nice to see the different reactions I get to the same picture. Isn't it nice to know that you can accidentally hold a part of someone's deepest thoughts and emotions with a bunch of scribbles (sometimes literally)?

I'm so excited to keep creating now, but since school is starting again, and LOTS of exams are coming my way, I expect a little lull in creation, but don't worry, I'll stock up my good ideas and come back with another flood of awesomeness! Till then (which is probably quite a long while away) thanks for hanging out with me and making it this far into my brain, feel free to find your way out now, don't knock over the paintings on your way out! See you soon! Okay, maybe not that soon, but you know? Bye!! :)

Love, Cuix <3